Tribe Sisters: The Struggle

by Salienna Summer

In Tribe Sisters, Salienna Summer talks about what it’s like to struggle with work, school and kids, while trying to maintain a personal life.

Do you ever look around and think that everyone looks so “put together?” You look around and feel that everyone is smarter, prettier, and happier than you? Ever wonder why the hell you are always running around like a hot mess trying to get to class, get to work and get the kids from school? Maybe, you make it to the gym often enough that you don’t forget where it’s located. You have to make “dinner,” and I use that term loosely because some days leave only 17 minutes to cook and eat before running out the door to go to a child’s activity.

And everyone else seems to be doing all this oh so naturally.

I hate that.

Why, when money is so tight, does your gas tank seem to be guzzling gas at the speed of light?

I guess that’s the life of being a single mother, still trying to figure her life out . . . still trying to finish school . . . and trying to maintain a career—so we don’t have to eat Ramen soup 5 days out of the week (even though that meal can easily be cooked and eaten in fewer than 17 minutes).

By the way, I discovered generic laundry detergent – it made my year!

But back to the crazy life: I wouldn’t trade it. I love my life for many reasons. My kids are awesome, even though at times I compare them to little monsters who seem to have a much better social life than I do. The kisses they gave me when they walk by me when I’m up late at the computer doing school work are priceless.

I love my friends. A single girl needs her friends, especially for crisis moments. We need our girls to lean on. Whether it’s for something serious like a life changing event – divorce being my most recent one – or for some advice or even to have a bottle of wine or two and discuss why only the “weird ones” like me or to make a list of all the people we want gone from this world – in a very loving way of course. (No matter how hard you search you won’t be able to find my list!) I sorta love school. I know it’s going to benefit me later on.

I have love in my life from my kids, family and friends and that’s what matters to me the most. So I don’t care that for me a shopping spree is buying two clearance summer dresses at Target and dollar store flip flops. I’m gonna rock it as if I were decked in Prada. I don’t care that sometimes having a boyfriend or someone you “hang with” (ladies – what the hell does this mean by the way?) is something that I’m constantly trying to figure out because I’ve had failed relationships in the past. And what about all the questions in your head when you are “hangin’ out” – “Do I like him? Does he like me? Is he with me because he’s lonely? Why does he make that funny face when he’s looking at TV? Does he prefer his ex?”

If you can relate to all the ups and downs of life, all the sad and funny experiences people go through with relationships, careers, school, money, kids and just life in general, you are what I call my “Tribe Sisters.” If you have a crazy life and want to hear and know you are not alone, stay tuned. We can go on this crazy ride together.